The Thursday Joke

One entry each please, we will vote for the winner tommorow

The takeover of liverpool fc has climaxed with a late withdrawal from DIC this has left a bitter taste in the mouths of all liverpool fans. DIC heads were promising to splash out on new players for the team.

gary neville was feeling under the weather and, like the geek he is, alex ferguscum decides to do his shopping for him. While out he bumps into his old friend, Harry Redknapp, who says ' What are u doing here mate?'
Ferguscum says 'Im getting a bag of potatoes for Gary Neville' to which Redknapp replies 'Sounds like a fair deal to me!'

leedslad wrote:gary neville was feeling under the weather and, like the geek he is, alex ferguscum decides to do his shopping for him. While out he bumps into his old friend, Harry Redknapp, who says ' What are u doing here mate?'
Ferguscum says 'Im getting a bag of potatoes for Gary Neville' to which Redknapp replies 'Sounds like a fair deal to me!'

:lol:

I've my good deed for the day today.

I was at cash machine, when a little old lady comes up to me and says :-

'Excuse me love, I've never been any good with these machines, can you check my balance for me?'

so I agreed and




gave her a little push, her balance wasn't that good because she felll over!!

ulrika johnson went to hospital after sitting on her mobile! her agent said her condition was ok as it was not the first time she's had an ericsson up her arse!!

A Banbury senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z3 convertible out of the car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 90 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the M40, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly nutcase as he floored it to 110mph, then 120, then 130mph. Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've
never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," said the policeman

Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path.

Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "Ooh dad, there's one." "No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait."

Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he's plenty big enough." "No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait."

About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman.

The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her."

"No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either."

"Why not?" asked the son.

"Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother."